*DISCLAIMER: We are NOT Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists, nor are we practicing Professional Counselors. These opinions are strictly from our personal experience, and serve as a testament to the benefits of practicing principles found in Love & Respect.
Hey Y’all! Megan here. Thank you so much for dropping by! We are continuing our series on marriage. Given that it is February, and the month is dominated with love and romance, we thought it would be a fitting topic of discussion. I am honored to have collaborated with my husband, Greg, on this series and wanted to remind you that my direct input will be written in pink while Greg’s will be in blue. This is to eliminate any confusion on who is speaking.
Yesterday, Greg addressed the men by describing what women need most in this world- love. Today, I will addressing the ladies.
Ladies, what your husband needs most from you, is not your love- it’s your respect. Shocking, isn’t it? In her book, For Women Only, author Shaunti Feldhahn reveals that 63 % of men would rather be alone and unloved than feel disrespected and inadequate. By respecting your husband apart from his performance, you will meet the deepest cry of his heart.
His need for respect is not wrong, it’s just different. In the same way that your need for love is not wrong, just different.
Regarding biblical marriage, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs makes the following observation
In this culture, a love-dominated society, a woman tends to talk far more about her need for love than her husband talks about his need for respect. Biblically there are two sides to the marital coin: love AND respect. We need to think Biblically not just culturally. Though Paul penned the Love Chapter (1 Corinthians 13) and Peter walked with the Lord of Love for three years, neither command a wife to agape- love her husband. Only the husband is commanded to agape- love his wife (Ephesians 5:25,28,33). Both Peter and Paul reveal that the secret for a wife is to show unconditional respect (1 Peter 3:1,2; Ephesians 5:33). Unconditional respect is powerful to a husband as unconditional love is to a wife. This truth needs to be on the marital radar screen. (Love & Respect study guide page 14)
Now, let me be clear- offering your husband unconditional respect in no way equates to becoming a doormat- and Scripture is clear that in the eyes of God a husband and wife are created equal (Genesis 1:26-27). That being said, your husband craves your admiration just as his body craves oxygen. If you desire to breathe life into your marriage, give him the gift of your respect.
Now that we have defined the greatest need for both the husband and wife, tomorrow we will take a look at what happens when those needs go unmet. Be sure to subscribe to the blog so that you do not miss out on the discussion. Thank you for joining us. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow!