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My Attempt at being Brave

Bravery is a gift.

A gift that so delicately presents itself during our most terrifying moments. However, we must first make the choice to receive this gift and wield the contents within, which is an act of bravery in and of itself, and one that so many choose to pass over because behind every act of bravery, is an element of vulnerability.

The gift of bravery lies in the ability to fight back the tears that threaten to unveil how truly frightened you are; and enables you to take that first step passed fear, with the knowledge that genuine healing lies up ahead.

Here is my attempt at being brave… and maybe, just maybe, my bravery will save someone’s life.

***

I tried to commit suicide.

It began eight months ago and peaked at the end of November/beginning of December. Though I tried hard to fight it, I spiraled into a state of desperation and despair. I was convinced that my life was not precious or treasured enough to make a positive contribution in this world. I no longer saw myself worthy of drawing breath. These thoughts of worthlessness and failure were further fueled by the daily remarks of someone close to me, which only increased my resolve to end my life.

Be kind quoteI became proficient in the art of deceit. To the rest of the world, all was well. I was the master of putting on a smile and misleading others to believe that I was doing just fine… that I was happy. No one knew of the battle that raged within.

Behind closed doors- I was a mess.

My family and close friends sensed that something was not right, but no one knew the extent of my pain and emotional suffering. No one, expect, perhaps, my four-year old son, Rylan.

It was a bleak and cloudy December morning, just before school let out for the holiday season. Emotionally- I was at my lowest. I had determined that my life was no longer worth living. I was in the upstairs bathroom, twirling a bottle of Benadryl between my fingers and working up the nerve to empty the entire contents into my body, hoping that the desired effect would take place just before everyone got home from work.

I had put a movie on for Rylan in the other room. I wanted him distracted while I downed the bottle of pills. Before I was able to pop the top off the bottle, Rylan walked in with tears in his eyes. I turned slowly toward him, not sure if I could bear to look at his face one last time. I’m so glad I did, because he saved my life. He looked up at me with a great intensity in his eyes and spoke wisdom beyond his years, “Mommy, I feel like you are trying to leave me. Don’t. I need you.

At that moment, reason seemed to wash over me like a tidal wave. At that moment, God’s truth rushed in and I was able to see clearly, for the first time in months.

I realized that my death would not be the end of pain. I would only be transferring my pain to those I loved most- my husband and two children. And it was something I could not bear to place on their shoulders, no matter the extent of my affliction or suffering.

 ***

Y’all, I’m not proud of this and it has taken me months to finally speak publicly about my experience. Please do not take advantage of my vulnerability. I am only sharing this with all of you so that God can take my ugly, messy, life and create something beautiful that will ultimately bring Him the most glory.

I have to live every single day with the guilt and shame associated with my attempted suicide, because after all, according to many in the Christian community, a genuine follower of Christ should never feel so much pain or suffer such emotional trauma, that it would ultimately lead you to believe that this world would be a better place if you did not exist. Their argument is that if you would simply focus your attention on your identity in Christ, you will not spiral into such a tragic state of despair.

It’s. Not. That. Simple.

I know who I am in Christ. I read the passages of Scripture that reminded me that I am a beloved daughter of the One, True King. I meditated on them day and night during the darkest days of my life. I fasted. I prayed. I did everything a “good Christian” is supposed to do when overcome with doubt and despair. Yet the enemy did not relent in his pursuit to destroy me because I did those things; in fact, the attacks grew stronger and more frequent the more I tried to press into the Presence of my Savior. Never forget, we have an enemy who desires nothing more than your destruction, and he will stop at nothing do it. He will use any means necessary, even other believers, to break you; which is why it is critical that followers of Christ learn to tame their tongues. I’m not saying that I do this perfectly. The Lord knows I don’t. But this experience has taught me that I MUST consider each word that escapes my lips carefully because words are powerful. Life and death are in the power of the tongue.

***

Just as we have an enemy who will relentlessly pursue your destruction at all costs, we have an even greater Savior who will not cease to prove His great love for you. And He will. Over and over and over again. The last two months have been a much-needed cocooning phase for me so that the Lord could begin the healing process. This is why I have not blogged or really been active on social media since the end of December.

Healing is a journey. I still struggle to combat the lies the enemy has fed me on a daily basis, but now I am better equipped to handle them.

Please know that I did not share my story with all of you to gain your sympathy or as a means of seeking attention. It was with great difficulty that I even wrote this blog post. If I had it my way, I would continue living life as though this never happened. My silence on this issue, however, was not what the Lord required of me.

If you can relate to my story in any way, I would love for you to reach out and connect with me. My email address is megan.card@gmail.com. I want to impress upon you that you are not alone. There are others out there who feel just as lost… just as hopeless… but it doesn’t have to be that way. There is hope for the hopeless– His name is Jesus.

A Year In Review

2013 was a year marked with much heartache and betrayal.

Mistakes made. Lessons learned.

You have to let go

A year sown in tears.

My joy was spent. The majority of my days empty and unsatisfying.

Yet I clung to the hope that God would fulfill a promise He made to me at the beginning of the year; He would restore my life and lead me along paths of righteousness– not for my benefit, but for His name’s sake. 2013 was to be a year of restoration.

A Year of Restoration

I’ll be the first to admit, I had my doubts.

How was God going to take the mess we had created and instead, cultivate something good– something worthy of His glory?

In my small, finite mind, I failed to see how God was working behind the scenes.

For sale sign

Remember that house we’ve been trying to sell for the last 7 months?

It is now officially under contract. If everything goes according to plan we close on January 30th.

God is in the business of restoration.

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We have been a single car family for nearly 3 years now. It’s been hard. Very hard. Somehow we’ve managed to make it work.

God, in His glorious abundance, provided the means for us to get a second car yesterday.

God is in the business of restoration. 

And that unspoken prayer request I asked y’all to pray about a few months ago? Well, God came through yet again. And the answer to this particular prayer request trumps them all! While I am still a few weeks away from being able to fully disclose the story to you, (Trust me. It’s been more difficult to keep this secret than you know. I’ve so desperately wanted to share it with you.) the opportunities that God is opening before us as a family have never been better.

God is in the business of restoration.

This has been one of the most difficult posts to write– not that the content in and of itself was difficult– rather, it took great effort on my part to type through the tears as I sat and reflected on all that has taken place this year. It has been a hard year. The trails– unyielding. Yet, God, once again, displayed His goodness and unfailing faithfulness in ways I never expected. In ways I don’t deserve. And all within His perfect timing.

As I prepare to close this chapter of my life and strive for what is ahead, God has given me a new word for 2014:

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Renewal 

The act of filling again by supplying what has been used up.

Joy.

For I will [fully] satisfy the weary soul, and I will replenish every languishing and sorrowful person.

Jeremiah 31:25 AMP

2013 was a year sown with tears. God has promised me through His word that 2014 will be a year of full of indescribable joy.

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!

Psalm 23:3 HCB

This is the first time in recent memory I have been genuinely excited for what lies ahead.

God has been good to us. Incredibly good. 

My prayer for you as you close out 2013 and prepare for 2014 is that you will experience the goodness of the Lord. That you will know the great depths and lengths He has gone to reach you, His beloved. I pray that He will lavish you with His love and unending mercy. And I pray above all, that you will receive it. For it is one thing to have knowledge of God’s unfailing love for you, and another to experience it fully.

I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-19

What Your Photographer Wishes You Knew Before Scheduling Family Photos: Tips From Brooke Richardson Photography

Everyone wants fabulous family photos, but coordinating a group photo session can be challenging and frustrating unless you know how to think like a photographer beforehand. Today, Brooke Richardson of Brooke Richardson Photography is here to share with us some things you should keep in mind when planning your next family photo shoot.

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We had a BLAST working with Brooke! It was the most relaxed photo shoot we have ever participated in, and as a parent, that makes all the difference in the world because you know your photographer will be able to truly capture your individual personalities in each photograph. Brooke takes time before each session to discuss how to best coordinate each outfit, what color schemes work best to achieve your desired look, and walks you through exactly what to expect during the photo shoot.

Brooke was able to capture some truly breathtaking images and if you live in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area, I highly recommend her. Brooke is an on location, natural light photographer and she specializes in maternity, newborn, children and family sessions. To schedule your next session with Brooke, click here, or you can find her on Facebook.

In addition to some great advice for your next photo shoot, Brooke is also offering all of my readers a chance to win the Luxembourg Jeweled Zebra scarf from Stella and Dot!

Brooke Richardson Photography giveaway

 

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Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Suspended: Freedom of Speech Threatened?

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Phil Robertson, patriarch of the popular reality tv series “Duck Dynasty,” has been suspended from the show indefinitely on account of comments made in the January issue of GQ Magazine.

“We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series ‘Duck Dynasty’,” the network said in a statement last night.

“His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”

 

The question I pose to you today is

“What defines tolerance?” 

tol·er·ance
ˈnoun
  1. 1.
    the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

According to A&E’s statement, the network is essentially saying that it no longer tolerates the views and beliefs of the Robertson family.

It appears that the very definition of “tolerance” has become undefined, or should I say, “redefined” in our current society. As long as your views align with the majority, you are free to express your thoughts and opinions openly. If, however, your views conflict with those of the majority, you will be quickly reprimanded and or silenced.

I fail to see how attempting to silence Phil Robertson for *his* beliefs can be considered an act of tolerance, or classified as being open-minded.

The Robertson family has made it clear from the beginning where their loyalty lies and I am surprised that A&E is suddenly acting shocked and infuriated with Phil’s statements. This is not the first time that Phil has made comments directed toward homosexuals, nor do I believe it will be his last. Just as there are many who make crude and inaccurate remarks about Christians, they too have the freedom to express their beliefs, just as I have the freedom to change the channel when those beliefs are expressed.

Instead of silencing those with opposing views in an act of verbal bullying and intimidation, let’s sit down and have an actual intellectual conversation? 

 In a response to the news of Robertson’s departure from the show, Dr. Russell Moore took to his blog to share his thoughts, “Let’s have genuine diversity, meaning let’s talk honestly with one another about what we believe and why. Muting one another isn’t what debate is for in a free society. It’s what remote controls are for.”

So let’s begin the conversation.

Do you believe our freedom of speech is threatened at this present time?

Why or why not?

*Please Note*  I desire this conversation to be engaged in love. I reserve the right to delete comments from those who make hateful remarks toward either side of the conversation. Thank you in advance for your understanding.

How I Gained 1,000 Blog Subscribers In Less Than 6 Months: My Advice To New Bloggers

I am not a blogging expert.

I have never been to a blog conference.

I am still learning what SEO, CSS, HTML and permalinks are and how to use them effectively.

I have no experience in marketing or social media strategy.

For crying out loud, I finally caved and created a Facebook fan page a few months ago because that is what serious bloggers do and I wanted to be a serious blogger.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I am still learning how to be a blogger, and yet, I have miraculously gained more than 1,000 blog subscribers in less than six months. I get emails all the time from fellow beginners asking me what my secret is, so today I am going to tell you. Are you ready? Here it is…. The key to becoming a successful blogger…

 

Be Uniquely You

 

That’s it. That’s my secret.

The most important thing I have learned in my short time as a blogger is to be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Share your strengths but also allow your readers to see that you are, in fact, human.

But because I know y’all would be disgruntled if I ended this blog post with nothing more than, “be yourself” here are a few other things I have learned about blogging along the way:

Engage Your Readers // When someone takes the time to leave a comment on your blog, don’t be hesitant to respond. This establishes the kinship between blogger and reader. Surprisingly, some of my most meaningful friendships have been formed through this blog.

Find Your “Why” and Write About It// Why do you desire to create a blog? Is it to chronicle your family’s adventures? Are you an excellent cook and wish to share your recipes with others? Are you a rising fashion sensation, makeup artist or couponer? Do you enjoy fitness and living a healthy lifestyle? Whatever it may be, find your why and then write about it. You will find that when you write with passion and purpose, you will generate a following, or “tribe” as it is often referred to in the blogosphere.

Use Your Voice// When crafting your blog posts, write as though you were sitting across the table from your best friend at the local coffee shop. Be real. Be authentic. Be relateable. Your readers want to know the real you; not some dressed-up, perfected version of you. Transparent writing is a powerful gift. It builds trust with your readers and potential brands looking to partner with you.

Love Your Readers// This goes deeper than simply engaging with your readers. It requires more of you. Your time. Your energy. Your resources.

When I started blogging, I noticed a handful of readers who would go above and beyond “just commenting” on my blog posts. Seek these people out. Find them on social media and follow them. If they are a blogger, comment on their blog posts and subscribe to their blog. Return their emails (and not with generic responses either). Send them hand-written “thank you” cards. Go beyond engaging discussions with these readers and truly love them. Find out their story. Discover who they are. Find out their likes and dislikes. What makes them “tick.” These relationships are the foundation of your blog and the glue that holds it together. These are the readers who will go to bat for you when you find yourself under attack. These loyal, faithful, reliable readers are what will grow your blog.

And a giveaway here and there doesn’t hurt either… so I’m told. :)

Utilize Free Photo Editing Sites Such As PicMonkey// PicMonkey is a blogger’s best friend. If you’re poor, like me, and cannot afford Photoshop, PicMonkey is a great alternative. PicMonkey allows you to touch up and add effects to photos, make collages, and create those ever-so-necessary blog buttons you see on the sidebar. And with the rise of social sharing sites like Pinterest and Tumblr, it is crucial that you have a pinable photo embedded in your blog post.

Network// Just as it is important to network in the business world, if you want to be taken seriously as a blogger, it is important that you network. I’m still learning how to do this and do it well, but my friends KenzieChelsea  and Stephanie have this down to a science.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and collaborate with other bloggers. Whether it is hosting a link up, writing a guest post, or sponsoring another blog, networking will increase your pageviews and will likely land you more subscribers.

Create Unique Content// While imitation is often considered the best form of flattery, it is best that you create your own content instead of regurgitating information found on your favorite blogs. While you will inevitably stumble across similar blog posts written by a number of authors (it is the internet after all), readers can easily sniff out a blog that does nothing but steal content from other bloggers. As I said before, your readers want to hear from you, so just be yourself.

Always, Always, Always Cite Your Sources// One would think that this is self-explanatory, but it seems that many bloggers have forgotten how to cite their sources. If you have been inspired by another blogger’s post on a particular subject, be sure to include a link back to that post, otherwise it is stealing content. Besides, Google absolutely loves it when you include links to other sites in your posts. This too, will help increase your pageviews.

And lastly….

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Be Nice To People// Nothing will make me unfollow a blogger faster than a social media war. Regrettably, this happens often with bloggers. Fights break out all of the time on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter and they are epic in proportion. Some find these blog wars amusing but I personally have no time for mean people. My advice, just be nice to people. Kindness rarely goes unrecognized.

 

If this is your first time visiting my blog I want to welcome you! I’d love to connect with you via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Or you can always reach me at megan.card@gmail.com.

 

 

Christmas Journey

One of my favorite Christmas traditions as a child was participating in a dramatized production of the life of Christ at our church. It was not your typical church drama production however, but a multi-scene dramatization of the biblical accounts of Jesus Christ that you experienced from your CAR (or open trailer if you don’t mind bracing the winter weather)!

Christmas Journey

As a family, my mother, father, sister and I would dress in our respective attire (Dad- wise man, Mom and I- peasants, Jill-  an angel) and join the other 600 or so cast members who would bring to life the story of Christmas. Now, many years later, I am reliving this tradition with my husband and children beside me.

 

If you live in or around the Dallas metroplex, I highly recommend experiencing the Christmas Journey for yourself.

Located at:

First Baptist McKinney
1615 W. Louisiana,
McKinney, TX, 75069
December 12-15, 2013 from 6-9 pm
If you don’t mind bundling up and sitting in the cold, I suggest experiencing the Christmas Journey in one of the open trailers, which is how I was able to capture snippets from a few of the scenes last night. Plus you will receive hot chocolate to sip on as you make the journey, and who can say no to that?!
Hayden at Christmas Journey
Hayden was infatuated with the Roman soldiers on horseback as they rode up and down the streets demanding to see our papers.
P.S. I apologize for the blurry photos. I was on a moving trailer as I took these but at least you have an idea of what the experience is like.
Christmas Journey Mary and Angel
 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.  And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
Luke 1: 26- 33
Christmas Journey shepherds

 And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

Luke 2:8-14

Christmas Journey Wise Men

Christmas Journey Manger Scene

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Luke 2:1-7

Oh come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!
Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

20 Life Lessons I Learned While In My Twenties

Before we begin, I wanted to clarify a few things. First, these are lessons I have learned over the course of the last twenty-nine years of my life. The following are based on my personal experience. I am not attempting to make universalized statements and I am not naive enough to assume that there are no exceptions to a few of these. I am a blogger… not an expert at life. You will never hear me claim otherwise. Again, these are simply my musings as I sit and reflect on life as I close one decade and prepare myself to begin another.

 

20 life lessons I learned while in my twenties

 

1. // Take risks. Make mistakes. Learn. You don’t have to have life figured out by the time you are thirty.

2. // Don’t be too proud to accept help from your family and friends. They love you and want to be a blessing to you. You steal their joy when you refuse their assistance and you miss out on a true act of grace.

3. // Vulnerability is scary. Yes, you may get hurt. Yes, there are truly evil people in the world who would love nothing more than to destroy you and cause you harm. However, to allow others to see you in your most vulnerable state of being can bring about relationships and experience you would never have gained otherwise. Both are invaluable and both are worth more than all the riches this world has to offer.

4. // Life is short. Eat cake.

5. // Embrace hardships. No one has ever mastered their craft without first enduring and persevering through difficulty.

6. // There is always something to be thankful for.

7. // Don’t be so quick to judge someone. You have no idea what circumstances have caused them to act the way they do, nor the hardships they may be facing presently.

8. // Never lose your sense of wonder.

9. // Your worth is not tied to the balance of your bank account.

10. // Yes, it is possible for you to marry and have children before the age of 25… and survive.

11. // Some of the hardest working people I know are poor or on welfare. Sometimes “climbing the corporate ladder” is more about who you know, rather than how hard you work or how talented you may be.

12. // See the good in people. Most especially when they cannot see it in themselves.

13. // Love hard. You don’t know what tomorrow may bring.

14. // “Through insolence comes nothing but strife, but wisdom is with those who receive counsel.”- Proverbs 13:10

15. // When in an argument, if given the choice to be kind or to be right presents itself, it is best to err on the side of kindness. It is better to be thought of as kind than to be thought of as a jerk.

16. // Success is not determined by how much money you make.

17. // Put down the cell phone. It can wait.

18. // It’s all about perspective. “If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”- Maya Angelou

19. // Life is full of plot twists. Enjoy the journey.

20. // God is good.

 

 

 

Embracing 30 + a Giveaway!

In 11 days… I will be thirty.

Can you believe that?

I sure can’t.

Over the next few days I will be reflecting on my last 29 years and how I intend to embrace my 30s.

In the meantime, let’s celebrate!

30 blog giveaway 2000 x 2000

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Life Lately | A Recap of November

Much has happened in our family over the past few weeks. What better way to recap our comings and goings than through pictures?

Gdad and Rylan

November was a month marked with thankfulness. We’ve had much to be thankful for this year, including our move back to the DFW area which has allowed us numerous chances to be with family- something we greatly missed while living in the Arklatex.

 

Meg at Salon

After an embarrassingly long time, I FINALLY got my hair cut and colored as an early birthday present.

(Did I mention December is my birthday month?!?! What, what!)

My Mom knew were having family pictures taken and scheduled an appointment for me with Trisha Crego in Addison. Y’all, she’s incredible! If you live in the area, I highly recommend her. She takes her time and doesn’t rush to get you in and out of the chair as quickly as possible, as a lot of stylists tend to do. She is by far the most meticulous hair stylist I have ever had. I will definitely be a repeat customer.

Meg and Rylan

Seth and Hayden Thanksgiving

We had Thanksgiving with Greg’s side of the family this year. We enjoyed a low-key affair, full of fun and laughter.

Skylar and Rylan Thanksgiving

 Swoon…. Aren’t they precious?!

Skylar Sadie and Rylan Thanksgiving

 Be still my heart. I love them, so.

And now… December thus far:

 

Meg and Greg

 

 December started off nicely with a new set of family photos, courtesy of our dear friend, Brooke Richardson.

We should have the photos from her soon and I cannot wait to show them to you!

In the meantime, here are a few sneak peeks from the photo shoot:

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ice day 1

 

This weekend we are enduring uncharacteristically cold temperatures for Texas.

Y’all, this is not snow you are seeing… it’s ICE!

Ice Day 2

 

Yesterday, our area was affected by power outages and plummeting temperatures. Fortunately, we have been immensely blessed with friends who came to our rescue and we were able to stay with them in the comfort of their warm and cozy house until power was restored. The boys played and played and played some more, while the adults enjoyed good conversation and an endless supply of our favorite Christmas movies.  It is now day two of our crazy ice storm (Yes, I know my lovely readers from up north are chuckling as they read this. We southerns do not know what to do with this foreign substance covering the ground! haha) and we are gearing up for a day of sledding. Hopefully, I won’t fall and bust my rear. For me, ice is best enjoyed with a pair of ice skates!

I hope y’all are enjoying a lovely weekend.

Lots of love to you!

Prone to Wander

As I sit on my bed beneath a pile of blankets, my coffee cup in one hand and my Bible laid out before me; I am poised to pen my next blog post when the Holy Spirit speaks and stirs my spirit.

Dear One, do you believe I AM the way, the truth, and the life?

My inner voice cannot hide the hurt associated with this question. Already, this conversation is strikingly familiar and I reply indignantly, “Of course, Lord. I believe You are who You say You are– You are Emmanuel; God incarnate who dwelt among us in the form of Jesus, who suffered an unjust and brutal death on a cross in an act of propitiation for our sin. You conquered death and rose victorious, satisfying the debt that must be paid so that we could enter into fellowship with You.  You are the Creator, from which all things have its origin and assigned purpose. You are the rational principle that governs all things– Your Sovereignty is unparalleled. You are the embodiment of goodness, justice, peace, and truth. All beauty, love, and joy comes from You. You are the King of kings and the Lord of lords. The Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. You define holiness, for You alone are blameless and without fault. All knowledge and wisdom come from You, Lord. You are faithful and true. You are marvelous, glorious, and mysterious. Your splendor is matchless. You are omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. You are the great I AM. Jesus, You are my savior and my King.”

Megan, beloved, do you really believe those things?

Now I am in tears. “How could you ask me such a question, Lord? Yes! Of course I believe. How could I not?”

I wasn’t prepared for His response.

Then why do you keep such life changing truths to yourself?

Ouch.

In an attempt to rectify the situation, I cry out, “What of my children? I spend hours each day teaching them Your word and pointing them to You. That has to count for something, right?” (I don’t even know why I bothered. He already cut to the heart of the matter and I knew it. I just wanted to justify my behavior in my own mind, I suppose.)

He left me in silence to ponder His observation and it didn’t take me long to realize how accurate of an observation it was.

In truth, I am quick to pass along information I deem to be of some value to others: a new recipe I found on Pinterest, an interesting article from a syndicated journalist, the latest book from my favorite authors, YouTube videos, graphics depicting inclement weather… but how often do I sit across the table from someone and lovingly engage in a conversation about the one relationship that has altered my life so completely? If I really believe that Jesus is exactly who He says He is, then why do I hesitate to take advantage of the tools and resources He has entrusted to me and boldly proclaim, Jesus is Lord!

I believe it is because my heart is prone to wander.

I get distracted by the mundane tasks I must perform each day. I am a Martha, who desperately longs to have the heart of Mary, but doesn’t quite know how. Instead of being enthralled by the One who created me, who longs to fellowship with me each day, I am held captive by the circumstances of the life before me and I lose sight of what is important.

Lord, may Your goodness surround me and prevent me from wandering from the safety of Your Presence.

4. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

-Penned by  pastor and hymnist, Robert Robinson.